Disappointing

Had an Almanac reading at Gingko last night. Disappointing. I've mentioned here about the Essential Tremors I deal with; they're not conducive to holding a book up before a roomful of people. It's hard to read a moving target.

At last years' Almanac reading at the Amsterdam, I immediately noticed that there was no podium and panicked. They were able to scrounge a solid music stand and everything went fine. This spring I did a Fairy Tale reading in a garage and asked beforehand if there'd be a similar stand. They said maybe, so I memorized the whole piece—just to be safe—and everything went fine.

The same guy who ran the Fairy Tale reading—a great man who's done great things for the local writing community—was running last night's reading as well. I emailed him two weeks ago, saying: “...you may recall from last spring's garage reading, I have a problem with tremors and need to be sure they have a podium or a stand of some sort at Ginkgos.” He responded: “We'll definitely have a music stand will that be enough?”

I arrived early and we chatted and I mentioned again my need for a stand of some sort. He said: “Yeah, I think there's one behind the piano.” Later I watched him look behind the piano. At 7:30 he introduced me as the first reader. No stand to rest the book on and hide my tremors with. And no apology.

Honestly, if not for a couple friends having come to watch, I'd have walked right out the door. Instead I stood there awkwardly explaining my condition to the few in attendance, asking them not to be alarmed if my hands went haywire. Getting the crowd's sympathy is not usually a goal. In the end, I was able to keep the book in my hands, though a moving target is difficult to read.

 

It's normally fun to do a reading—that's why I do 'em—but I was far too self-conscious to put on a decent show last night. My apologies, but I just wanted to get it over.