AVAILABLE NOW!!! The Cary Grant Sanatorium and Playhouse - A disgraced Hollywood starlet, Donna Darling, and two-time German Army deserter, Séamus von Funck, meet in 1942 at an idyllic Ohio home for unwed mothers—or a Nazi abortion slaughterhouse, depending on whom you talk to. Their love endures despite the efforts of a power-hungry congressman, an overzealous religious tabloid, and Donna's Hollywood past. (Psst, it includes Cary Grant.) They prevail despite Séamus being a suspected Nazi spy and America's first prisoner of the second World War—and also the first to escape.

Available now!!

Available now!!
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About Me

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Will Tinkham has published six novels: THE CARY GRANT SANATORIUM AND PLAYHOUSE, THE GREAT AMERICAN SCRAPBOOK, THE ADVENTURES OF HANK FENN, BONUS MAN, NO HAPPIER STATE, and ALICE AND HER GRAND BELL. He lives and writes in Minneapolis, MN. His short fiction has been published on three continents and he long ago attended Bread Loaf on a scholarship. An actor of little renown, his credits do include the Guthrie Theater and Theatre in the Round. @WillTinkhamfictionist on Facebook

Friday, April 20, 2012

An Interview with Mary Vettel

How many writers can claim to be an Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award semi-finalist and have their picture on the back cover of Stephen King's new novel? Only one that I'm aware of (and that's all that counts): the multi-talented Mary Vettel! And we at Write Under Their Noses are lucky enough to have her on hand for our first ever interview.

Soon-to-be ABNA winner, THE STORY OF LAUREL BLUE STONE is a multi-cultural, young adult novel about young love, bank robbery and Navajo shape shifting. Mr. King is a writer who can no doubt use the increase in sales generated by Ms. Vettel's photo on his book jacket.

Q: Technically speaking, do you write from an outline, from the hip, or use an app?

MV: app, schmapp. A melange of flexible outline and the hip. *bursts into song: The hipbone connected to the outline* [that was for your entertainment, not public consumption]

Sorry, the musical interlude stays (you didn't say 'off the record' before breaking into song). Now, on to your photo on Stephen King's book. Q: At the risk (and in hope) of sparking a scandal, just what is your relationship with Mr. King?

MV: We're just good friends.

Q: Who are your favorite authors (besides Mr. King and myself)?

MV: Actually I prefer you over Mr. King. [honest] Now, can I be on the back cover of your book? [kidding] Admire P.G. Wodehouse, John Hughes, Marian Keyes, Helen Simonson, and Elizabeth Berg.

Q: After the 7-figure book contract, the inevitable movie deal, speaking engagements and action figures, will you be content to pay the proposed 30% millionaires tax or will you fight for a more Romney-like 14%?

MV: I will say unequivocally that I will gladly pay the 30% millionaires tax - then have my fat cat lawyer/accountant find those loopholes...er...legitimate tax exemptions enabling me to hold onto as much of the pot of gold as possible.

Q: My best guess is that you are not of Native American descent, yet the book is full of very believable folklore from this Zuni tribe of New Mexico. Is this all exhaustive research or did you travel extensively through the Southwest or, again, did you use an app?

MV: App. schmapp! I did exhaustive research and traveled extensively in the Southwest in my imagination. I'd love to visit that part of the country, but have many fears, some more crippling than others. [There are 46 varieties of snakes there, and even though only 9 are poisonous...that's enough for me, scorpions there can perform stunts not unlike Evel Knievel, whereas I cannot. Am not liking those odds.]

With a movie being a foregone conclusion, we have a question from one of our regular contributors, Johnny "Bad Glove" Hand [see photos on left]. Q: What Caucasian actress (from any era) do you see cosmetically altering their skin color and donning a braid to play Laurel?

MV: Thank you for that question, Mr.. Hand. Big fan of yours, by the way. Actually, Mr. Hand, I think young Miss Vanessa Hudgens could do it. (Her father is part Irish/part Native American.)

Q: Finally, one last question. You write in multiple genres from middle grade to adult, Elizabethan to Western. Can't find your niche? Can't control your Muse? Or—now be honest—do you have an array of apps that you plug-in whenever necessary?

MV: You and your bloody apps! Were I feeling particularly petulant I would say my muse has a multipersonality dissociative disorder. But not wishing to besmirch the good name of my generous and loyal muse, I'd just say rather than being pigeon-holed into one particular niche, I like to challenge myself. Variety is the spice of something, no?

LIFE! Yes, we have life. Thank you, Mary, for bringing life to this dusty old blog. Try here for more on Mary Vettel.


  1. What a fun interview! I had no idea Mary's on the back cover of the new Stephen King book. How awesome is that?!

  2. Thanks, lexcade. She might not be alone on the cover, I'm not sure.

  3. I've heard some have been unable to post comments. This is terrible. I love comments! I plastered this on my FB page, if you'd like to comment there (while I try to figure out how to troubleshoot such a thing). Thanks.

  4. What a lot of fun this was (despite the 'off the record' nonsense). You have honed your interviewing skills, sir. I believe there's a spot open on 60-Minutes; you might want to look into that. And it was a pleasure speaking with Johnny 'Bad Glove' Hand too. Hmm...I should have asked him if he'd be interested in the role of Mr. Blue Stone. Thanks again. You rock!