Two things

 YouTube vidy of my reading a couple weeks back at Magers & Quinn:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV-J00OamnU

And, Amazon's got a relatively new feature for a series that is much nicer than their Author Page:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FFDLBRD

On April 10, 7pm

Will Tinkham reads
from his new novel,
The Miracles.

Wednesday
April 10, 7pm
@Magers & Quinn
Booksellers, 
3038 Hennepin
   Ave S., Uptown

A wonderful 2/3s review

A woman who lives where I work stopped into the office last night and said she was two-thirds of the way through “the Cary Grant book” and that I had “outdone myself.” (She was referring to The Cary Grant Sanatorium and Playhouse and is one of a handful of people to have read all my books.) She said I was at my “wittiest and craziest.”

She went on to say she especially enjoyed the beginning of the book and I figured I had won her over because she is of the age that may have grown up idolizing Cary Grant and other movie stars referenced early on. Instead, she said it was because she “grew up in central Europe”—referring to the chapters dealing with a young man's escapes from the Nazis.

One can overlook dismal sales with a review like that. Thanks, Sonia and I hope you enjoy the rest of the book.

On $9

Delivered a copy of BONUS MAN to Subtext Books to sell on consignment. Received $9 payment for the last book sold, less the $4 I originally paid Amazon for the book and $3.50 bus fare to and from St. Paul, leaving me with $1.50 profit.

Of course, while in St. Paul I had to have lunch with my sister, so I then spent $20 out of my profit at the Eagle Street Grille.

Will have to check with my accountant on just how this will lead to millions. He tells me to be patient.

On $20

The following post was doing better than normal on its own, so I decided to pay $20 to "boost" it on Facebook. It went like this: “John Prine and Bill Murray both figure heavily in my novel THE GREAT AMERICAN SCRAPBOOK. My main character snaps out of a breakdown by wandering around playing Prine songs on his girlfriend's guitar. Later Murray, as part-owner of the St. Paul Saints, invites him to sing on Opening Day 2004.” I paired that with a video of an interview and a picture (below) of the two—not sure who the third guy is.

Final return on my investment: 'Reached' 1,928 people, got 98 'clicks', 8 'engagements', 6 'likes' from strangers, 2 new 'friends' on FB, 1 Goodreads 'follower' and sold zero 'books'.

That's what we call marketing.

On THE MIRACLES

The Miracles, a novel-in-progress and seventh in my Americana series, is moving along slowly—by selfish design. I've discovered that writing novels is far more enjoyable than publishing them, so I'm taking my sweet time and wallowing in this one.

It begins in 1910, features Angela Farmer—the nurse who aided Hank Fenn in an earlier book—and tells how she went from orphan to nurse to nanny for a young Abigail Farnsworth, who had helped deliver quadruplets on a train in yet another novel.

Fortunes turn sour for both young women, so much so that Angela must leave Redding, Connecticut under an assumed name—that of her orphanage friend, schoolmate and fellow nurse Brinda Miracle, who died accidentally on their first day at City Hospital—and lead an orphan train destined for St. Paul, Minnesota.

Orphans not claimed along the route—and thus remaining in the new Brinda's charge—include a 12-year-old Mongoloid, idiot savant (sorry, but more polite terms had not been created by 1910) and pickpocket named Nicholas, an 8-year-old Lizzie Borden fan named Maxine, and 6-year-old Zane with the amber eyes.

Brinda Miracle and her wards move into an orphanage located between NinaClifford's brothel (pictured) and the Bucket of Blood Saloon (both actual places, the orphanage was not). Real-life historical characters besides Nina include two-term Mayor Laurence “Larry Ho” Hodgson, boxers Mike and Tommy Gibbons, author F. Scott Fitzgerald, and a very young Henry Fonda.

They're a temperamental lot, so it's no wonder I must proceed carefully. To be completed by early 2019.

On click bait

What bizarre internet algorithm landed my book cover in “FROM THE WEB “ alongside quick fixes for Swamp Girls with eye bags?

I couldn't resist clicking on it (click bait?!) and was stunned to find this ad occupying the top of this Scribd site touting their $8.99-all-you-can-read buffet.

I paid for no advertising. Does Scribd offer 49¢ worth of free ad time to new books to their site? I doubt it. All I can say is my branching out to seven new ebook outlets, along with this free marketing boost, have amounted to exactly zero (0) new sales.

We keep trying.

On a title or two

So I made the online event calendar at the StarTribune. A good thing except somehow they saw fit to add a couple of quotation marks and turned one title into two.

For the record: I'll be reading from one novel, The Cary Grant Sanatorium and Playhouse, and would be thrilled if anyone would come by and have a listen. Thanks!

Also, the book is now on sale at Magers & Quinn (for those who simply can't wait).

On giving up on marketing, outreach strategy, page traffic analysis and trends

I've given up on marketing, outreach strategy, page traffic analysis and trends as of August 6, 2017. As all seven of my blog followers here and my Facebook friends are painfully aware, I'm involved in a “reader-powered publishing” venture called Kindle Scout. Readers are allowed to browse as-yet-unpublished books and—if they stumble on a title that strikes their whimsy (like, say, THE CARY GRANT SANATORIUM AND PLAYHOUSE) or a provocative cover catches your eye (maybe one created by my sister, Susan Tinkham)—they may read samples and possibly nominate books for publication by Kindle Press.

The writer, if lucky enough to be selected for publication, receives $1,500 and whatever advertising Amazon will dish out to recoup that advance. I guess that's where marketing comes in. Every day I get an updated “campaign page views per day” chart. Over the last week mine has been pretty constant: dropping below 100 for the first time to 95, slipping as low as 78, then back to 90 on August 5. Being 1/3 of the way through my campaign, I put out a little blurb on FB to remind my friends, maybe get some “shares” and spread the word. Immediately FB flashed me an opportunity: “Boost your ad for $10 and reach 3,400 views in 2 days!”

You gotta spend money to make money, right? I went for it, dammit!

Woke up this morning to find my FB blurb had indeed surged to 338 views—not quite what they'd promised but a 210% increase over my norm. I immediately went to my Scout chart to see how that would reflect on my campaign page views. With my $10 FB “boost” my 90 of yesterday had somehow plummeted to a mere 6—a decrease of 93%.*

   * my first use ever of the snippet tool!

On the bright side: I saw Bryan Ferry last night. DAMN!!!

On changing titles

My last post named my new novel Nazi Abortion Slaughterhouse. This proved to require too much explanation and justification when someone asked: “What's the title of your new book?” I found myself explaining that the original title was Sidney's Sanctum, about a home for unwed mothers that is bad-mouthed by an ultra-religious newspaper to the point where it becomes known as a Nazi abortion slaughterhouse. Too much work.

I've gone with a more whimsical title: The Cary Grant Sanatorium and Playhouse. So far this has drawn smiles and chuckles. Which is how it should be. But there's more than just whimsy behind the change. Mr. Grant is a character in the novel and did, in fact, write a check to Sidney's Sanctum and its clinic for the purpose of building a theater that could double as a clinical facility. Much of the last half of the book takes place in, or centers around, the Sanatorium & Playhouse and activities held there.

Sidney's Sanctum? It was named for a small girl who died during the writing of my third novel, Bonus Man. This new novel pretty much picks up where Bonus Man left off. Heck, if you wanna read Bonus Man, you can find it here. 

And here:

On book six of my five-part series

Just paid Springboard for the Arts for an hour long consultation with a prominent St. Paul bookseller. Not sure what that'll entail but I need to make something happen sales-wise.

I've begun rewrites on my latest novel, NAZI ABORTION SLAUGHTERHOUSE (Honest, it's just a home for unwed mothers). I'm liking it—as I have with all the rest. Should be out come September. It kinda goes like this:

Disgraced Hollywood starlet, Donna Darling, and two-time German Army deserter, Séamus von Funck, meet in 1942 at an idyllic Ohio home for unwed mothers—or a Nazi abortion slaughterhouse, depending on who you talk to. Their love endures despite the efforts of a power-hungry congressman, an overzealous religious tabloid, and Donna's Hollywood past. (Psst, it includes Cary Grant.) Oh, and Séamus being a suspected Nazi spy and America's first prisoner of the second World War—and also the first to escape.

There you have it, fun for the whole family!

On 1🌟 free books

Between Amazon and Goodreads I have received six reviews/ratings for my novel The Adventures of Hank Fenn: three 5-star reviews (two friends, one stranger), two 5-star ratings (both strangers) and one stranger who just the other day rated the book one star. I have sold 25 copies of that book and given away more than 300 in the hope of gaining readership (and maybe some reviews).

Since I've been present for most of the book's actual sales, it's a good bet that this reader received her copy for free—ruling out any idea that she didn't get her money's worth. She simply disliked the book and I can live with that. Hank Fenn can live with that. She won't be the last.

What troubles me is that she didn't bother to warn her fellow readers about whatever it was she found so distasteful. No review, just clicked that lone star and left it at that. Was it Calamity Jane's coarse language? Hank Fenn's mixed-race marriage? Did the author not treat Mark Twain fairly?

We'll never know because she didn't bother to clarify her disdain for the book. Which is why I write this little post: If you get a book for free and somehow feel cheated, jot your feelings down in the form of a review. It takes less time than that trip to the bookstore you didn't have to take. And it's less painful than actually spending money. Fellow readers can benefit from your ordeal and maybe the author can learn a thing or two as well.

Oh, and Happy New Year! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

HOW DONALD TRUMP HARSHED MY BUZZ

It was November 7 and I had completed a reading at Magers & Quinn for my latest novel. I had a blast! Friends and even strangers seemed to enjoy themselves. I sold some books. The next morning—still riding the high from that reading, along with the prospect of the first woman POTUS—I set out for Franklin and Hennepin to vote. The euphoria I felt exiting the Scottish Rite Temple after casting my ballot was beyond description. I needed only to get home and write it all down...

Then things got murky. I came out of the haze just last night. I was at Eagles 34. A birthday party? I flashed back to a swamp being drained—only to be refilled with toxic waste. The phrase 'Bannon Sessions' reverberated in my head. Had I crossed over Hennepin Ave to LiquorLyle's that fateful voting day, laying to waste 10-plus years of sobriety? What did Alexander Hamilton have to do with anything? I stared up through bright lights to see Johnny Rey staring back, guitar in hand, and a sea of dancing women. Of course! Sharon Samels' birthday bash. It was next on my November calendar, but what had become of the previous ten days? Who cared? It was rock 'n' roll, love was in the air, and I was back! 

(With pictures to prove it.)

I may never know what fog set in and stole a week and a half of my life. North Carolina... I should maybe see my physician. Pennsylvania... I hope they understand at work. As I type the headaches come and go, hints of my unexplained hangover. Wis-wis-wisconsin?

President-elect—

Nooo00000000OOOO!!!!

On sale now!

THE GREAT AMERICAN SCRAPBOOK is physically available now at Magers & Quinn and located in a case (main aisle, just west of cash registers) featuring other upcoming events. Have at it—and my other novels, as well. Also, the release date for pre-orders of Kindle has been moved up to November 3—best I could do.

As if you need a reminder: Book launch is November 7, 7pm, Magers & Quinn.

I've changed my distribution so all my paperbacks will be available to purchase/order at any book retailer. To do so I had to raise the prices a buck or two. My apologies. Digital copies are still only available, dirt cheap, through Amazon (free Kindle app with purchase).

Enjoy!

On pre-order, launch news and some trepidation

THE GREAT AMERICAN SCRAPBOOK is now available for pre-order (Kindle version) and the paperbacks are winging their way here in anticipation of the launch at Magers & Quinn on November 7 (7pm). The pre-order business is only because it's complete and I promised the good folks at M&Q that it wouldn't go on sale before the launch. (Last time I did a pre-order nobody pre-ordered.)

For more launch info, and to catch up on the soundtrack for the novel, click here.

I've redone my humble website here to give notice of the new release. Have a look around see if anything interests you.

This new book seems to be a bit more stressful for me than my previous ones. The others were way more historical and all the real-life characters were dead. In this I'm using real live characters like Sherwin Linton, Anita from the Uptown Bar, Johnny Rey and Bill Murray, as well as friends who passed away far too young: Steve Foley, Kevin Foley and Kevin Calhoun Hazlett. Institutions like Bob Dylan and John Prine figure prominently without ever showing their faces.

Hope to see you November 7 and hope you enjoy the book(s).

On sale now!

The Adventures of Hank Fenn is out and available in paperback and digitally at Amazon. The hope is that Magers & Quinn will be carrying it by the end of the month (I'm not even due to receive my copies till Jan. 27).

2015 saw me publish three books which all started out fine sales-wise then fizzled over the last half of the year. Somehow I have to get beyond Facebook and business card word of mouth and move on to another level. All in all, the 103 copies sold were far more satisfying than the 100-plus rejections I likely would've received had I continued on the more traditional path.

There's talk of a trade show this spring (at which I may be the only writer) at the Union Depot in St. Paul. I'd have to figure out how to set up some sort of slide show (been watching Youtube videos) involving book covers and blurbs. And what if someone wants to buy one? Taxes, credit cards... And what if no one buys one? Then I'm stuck with a bunch of books... So much to learn.

Meanwhile I work on book #5, The Great American Scrapbook. It's the long-awaited sequel to Alice and Her Grand Bell. The much-anticipated sequel to No Happier State, too. And The Adventures of Hank Fenn, for that matter. Come to think of it, if you're worried about those quadruplets born on that train, it serves as a sequel to Bonus Man, as well. And a prequel to more...

Einstein + Churchill = Tinkham

They say Albert Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I recently saw a quote from Winston Churchill saying: “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

Aren't these the same equations with different answers?

Take me and these books I've written: each novel failed miserably (with agents and small presses), yet I started right in on the next one with mind-boggling enthusiasm (Success! says Winnie) and most certainly expecting the results to be different (Lunatic! cries Albert). Who do we believe?

Am I successfully insane? Chronically enthusiastic? Confident or delusional?

If I catch his drift, Churchill tells us that enthusiasm itself is success. But to strive for more than just the joy of doing—like succeeding—and failing repeatedly, according to Einstein, is just plain nuts.

Okay, I writing myself into a corner here, so I'll get back to working on my fourth book—which, I'll have you know, I'm so deliriously thrilled about I must be friggin' crazy.

Paperback & Kindle

NO HAPPIER STATE (Americana #2) is now available in paperback, as well as Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UJW5FOA

While the menfolk carve Mount Rushmore above, Pêche Appleton sells her own tiny sculptures to the Depression-era onlookers below. Some find them offensive, particularly Taft-Stuck-in-a-Bathtub, the Cancan-Dancing-Presidents, and the whole Jefferson-and-the-Slave-Girl series. Pêche is married to Ernie, star shortstop for the town team, and NO HAPPIER STATE is their story of love, small town scandal and national political outrage.

Their love is at first sight when they're twelve. The scandal revolves around the baby. The outrage involves their friends: Steinke, a German-born Jew, sent to an internment camp because the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor and Bad Glove Hand, a Lakota Sioux, heads for Hollywood only to be blacklisted as a Communist—but not before implicating actor Ronald Reagan in the same plot.

Despite their own personal burdens—and the Depression and a World War—love and friendship prevail in NO HAPPIER STATE (Americana #2).

On pre-order

My second novel, NO HAPPIER STATE, is now on pre-order here, with a release date set for March 18. The paperback will also go on sale on that date. It goes like this:

While the menfolk carve Mount Rushmore above, Pêche Appleton sells her own tiny sculptures to the Depression-era onlookers below. Some find them offensive, particularly Taft-Stuck-in-a-Bathtub, the Cancan-Dancing-Presidents, and the whole Jefferson-and-the-Slave-Girl series. Pêche is married to Ernie, star shortstop for the town team, and NO HAPPIER STATE is their story of love, small town scandal and national political outrage.

Their love is at first sight when they're twelve. The scandal revolves around the baby. The outrage involves their friends: Steinke, a German-born Jew, sent to an internment camp because the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor and Bad Glove Hand, a Lakota Sioux, heads for Hollywood only to be blacklisted as a Communist—but not before implicating actor Ronald Reagan in the same plot.

Despite their own personal burdens—and the Depression and a World War—love and friendship prevail in NO HAPPIER STATE (Americana #2).

Also, ALICE AND HER GRAND BELL (Kindle version) is FREE March 12 & 13. Plus, we just received a new Amazon review!

Published

I just hit 'publish' on my first novel, ALICE AND HER GRAND BELL. The wonderful cover pictured was created by my sister, Susan Tinkham. More later...