AVAILABLE NOW!!! The Cary Grant Sanatorium and Playhouse - A disgraced Hollywood starlet, Donna Darling, and two-time German Army deserter, Séamus von Funck, meet in 1942 at an idyllic Ohio home for unwed mothers—or a Nazi abortion slaughterhouse, depending on whom you talk to. Their love endures despite the efforts of a power-hungry congressman, an overzealous religious tabloid, and Donna's Hollywood past. (Psst, it includes Cary Grant.) They prevail despite Séamus being a suspected Nazi spy and America's first prisoner of the second World War—and also the first to escape.

Available now!!

Available now!!
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About Me

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Will Tinkham has published six novels: THE CARY GRANT SANATORIUM AND PLAYHOUSE, THE GREAT AMERICAN SCRAPBOOK, THE ADVENTURES OF HANK FENN, BONUS MAN, NO HAPPIER STATE, and ALICE AND HER GRAND BELL. He lives and writes in Minneapolis, MN. His short fiction has been published on three continents and he long ago attended Bread Loaf on a scholarship. An actor of little renown, his credits do include the Guthrie Theater and Theatre in the Round. @WillTinkhamfictionist on Facebook

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

On Moving

Last week I started calling around to the utilities to let them know I was moving and ask if they could switch my service to my new address on August 1. I called Xcel Energy, Qwest (soon-to-be-whatever-it's-changing-to-next) and Mpls Wi-Fi.

That was Thursday. Friday morning I got caught in a good-sized rain as I came home from the dentist. I dried myself off, sat down at the computer and found that my internet didn't work. I called they Wi-Fi people and they said THE STORM had knocked out my node. Now, I did get good and wet but we've had ten storms worse than that this year and my node had survived. Saturday, still no internet ('cept what I could steal from the bar across the street) and I called again. THE STORM, they said. Can't you point me to another node? I asked. THE STORM took out six nodes in the Uptown area, they said. Same story on Sunday: THE STORM.

Monday I went to call again, as I still had no internet, but my phone didn't work. Went to the library downtown to use the internet—couldn't steal a signal from the bar—and then stopped at the post office for a change of address card. Found one that said I could do it on-line (when and if I got service again), stuck it in my bag and went to work. Called Qwest from work about my phone. Somehow my request to switch my service on Monday, Aug 1 was translated into: shut it off Mon, July 18 and start it up again Aug 1. (July 18 was never even in the equation...)

Sometime Monday evening Mpls Wi-Fi recovered from THE STORM and I quickly typed my new address into the USPS on-line form and clicked "Submit." Another page appeared asking for my credit card info and $19.99 for processing and "privacy protection." The post office is now collecting protection money? I'll take my chances with the free card through the mail.

So my moving date is still two weeks away and I have yet to pack a box, but I'm thinking: this little dump of an apartment isn't so bad, really. Then I think: imagine the headaches involved in an unchange of address.


  1. Aren't you glad this is all over with and behind you? I hope so.

  2. All behind me? I still can't figure out which key opens what door. I got no furniture; my living room is like a dance floor. And boxes! It's been three weeks and I still have boxes to unpack. (I could go on and on, but I really don't have much to complain about.)

  3. "Qwest (soon-to-be-whatever-it's-changing-to-next)"

    This made me laugh. I can remember back in the dark ages when Qwest was called USWest. Can you imagine what their stationary bill is?