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I stole out of town the same way I came in, on the 21. Now I had the
Almanac to read. I read about old chocolate factories, Red Owl
groceries, kids playing hide-and-seek amid coffins. I read true
stories of generations growing up and growing old in Saint Paul. Why
was I in this book? I'd spent most of my adult life in
Minneapolis. I'd written a fictional tale of a fictional doctor
taking a fictional bullet out of John Dillinger's shoulder. Had I taken their
money and space in their book on false pretenses? I opened the
Almanac to my bio: sure enough, I hadn't even bothered to fess
up to being from Minneapolis. Fraud!
Was I any better than Dillinger himself? He took advantage of the
hospitality Saint Paul had to offer, then blew town with his
ill-gotten gains. As the 21 pulled into the Uptown Station, I checked
my coat pocket for that check—my own filthy lucre—and
vowed...nothing. Who was I kidding? I'd never change. I slunk
back to my Minneapolis apartment. I'm not proud of the path my
life has taken. Once a writer always a writer. So shoot me...
(Look, I even
lifted that picture of the dancing kid from the Almanac FB page! Have
I no shame?)
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